I love yard work and gardening and Spring. I have created my own little santuary in the backyard. Peaceful, private...my little haven.
I love elves and fairies. I have found the sweetest most beautiful and realisistic little guys for my garden. Elves that really speak to both my and Dale's hearts and personalities. There are quite a few of them. I think I will treat myself to them one at a time...No, on second thought, I need them all at once. Take a look at them and some of the other fine and unique objects of delight here.
Make sure you check out the cute little weanie babies while your there too.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Spaceports
Check this out! My dream is to go up in space. There is a lot of information on space ports and travel on this blog. I loved it.
Spaceports
Spaceports
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Plum Village, Hypnosis and Song of the South!
WARNING!! Do not read this if you do not want to be hypnotized?
Today is the last day of Dale's treatment! Yee haw!! Yahoo!! Yippity Skippity!
Zippity DOO DAH! Skippity AYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
**sing along with me now....**
Wonderful Feeling! Wonderful DaAAAYYY!!!!
Now that song will be stuck in your head all day now.
That's right...very good...and you will have a happy day today, won't you?
yes...yes..you are.
Aren't you now?
Now... that you are all happy go here and vote for Tony Stewart.
Have a fabulous day!!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
HELLEWWWWWW?
Dear All:
Still alive.
2 more days left til end of treatment. Yay!
Go here,
It's where I am when I am not sorting through my ruins or in the Emergency room with Dale.(yes he is fine)
More later....'
ME.
Still alive.
2 more days left til end of treatment. Yay!
Go here,
It's where I am when I am not sorting through my ruins or in the Emergency room with Dale.(yes he is fine)
More later....'
ME.
Friday, March 24, 2006
The Planet of Unreality
Regarding your comments to my previous post:
Of course, I took pictures. The one thing about having an obsession with cloud formations is I miss something cool when I don't have my camera. Therefore I have my camera with me at all times. It is like my wallet.
Of course I had a little chat with the Manager and then I called the OWNER. I called the owner not only in regard to the disaster I walked into, but also had a little chat regarding the attitude of of his young manager. I will be meeting with the owner tomorrow. He can negotiate something with me here, as long as it is on my terms. If not, we are going to court.
Here is a pretty good George Dumr-n-ya article.
I love Eugene Robinson...
The Planet of Unreality
T.O...C.U.
Of course, I took pictures. The one thing about having an obsession with cloud formations is I miss something cool when I don't have my camera. Therefore I have my camera with me at all times. It is like my wallet.
Of course I had a little chat with the Manager and then I called the OWNER. I called the owner not only in regard to the disaster I walked into, but also had a little chat regarding the attitude of of his young manager. I will be meeting with the owner tomorrow. He can negotiate something with me here, as long as it is on my terms. If not, we are going to court.
Here is a pretty good George Dumr-n-ya article.
I love Eugene Robinson...
The Planet of Unreality
T.O...C.U.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
An inside look into my life ...
RRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!
So I went to my storage unit this morning....and well... let's just say I am not happy camper and the manager of the place that I have paid $145.00 a fucking month to store my stuff safely for nearly 2 years knows it.
It has only been a little over a month since I was there last.
I opened my door .... the smell hit me...and there was mold all over the walls. All over my stuff.
AND there were also MICE droppings ALL OVER.
Needless to say I got a moving truck my stuff all out of there and in my back yard and I will be sorting through it non stop til I am done, working off my RAGE.
I probably won't post here again until Monday, unless I need to do some more venting. I will be posting at The Church tho as it is Bristol weekend and I need to do my scope's and another movee of the week about my NASCAR Men of Daring vs. The Aliens. If you haven't seen all of the saga, you can do a search of the blog posts on Aliens and it will catch you up to where we are.
Buh-bye for now.
Chin up....Tit's out.
So I went to my storage unit this morning....and well... let's just say I am not happy camper and the manager of the place that I have paid $145.00 a fucking month to store my stuff safely for nearly 2 years knows it.
It has only been a little over a month since I was there last.
I opened my door .... the smell hit me...and there was mold all over the walls. All over my stuff.
AND there were also MICE droppings ALL OVER.
Needless to say I got a moving truck my stuff all out of there and in my back yard and I will be sorting through it non stop til I am done, working off my RAGE.
I probably won't post here again until Monday, unless I need to do some more venting. I will be posting at The Church tho as it is Bristol weekend and I need to do my scope's and another movee of the week about my NASCAR Men of Daring vs. The Aliens. If you haven't seen all of the saga, you can do a search of the blog posts on Aliens and it will catch you up to where we are.
Buh-bye for now.
Chin up....Tit's out.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Jealous of the Moon and RX Issues
Well...I was going to try to post some pictures of my before and after and the progress I have made, but I guess the picture uploading issue isn't resolved. So again, another day. I got some really cool cloud pictures I wanted to show too. Maybe I will upload them somewhere else and post the link later on today, if I get the time.
I heard this song a few weeks ago on the radio. You know how you hear a song and it hits you and you love it? How it sings to your soul? I have only heard it a few times ever. I guess this group is really popular and the song has been out for awhile. Somehow I had never heard it.
It reminds me of me, it reminds me of you, and it reminds me of all of us at some point in our lives. I burst into tears the first time I heard it.
It's a beautiful song. I finally found all the lyrics.
"Nickel Creek "
"Jealous Of The Moon"
Tryin' on a brand new dress
But you haven't worn the old one yet
You've come too far
To turn around now
You've given up the good fight
You're as strong as anyone
You're back where you started from
I see you're back where you started from
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
Just being where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
Drag your pretty head around
Swearin' you're gonna drown
With a beautiful sigh
And a river of lies
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
Just stayin' where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
Why don't you call me,
I could save you
Together we'll find a God
we can pray to
That'll take you by the hand
I hate to see a friend of mine
Laughing out loud
When she's crying inside
But you've got your pride
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
But you're stayin' where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
You're starin' down the stars
Stayin' where you are
You're jealous of the moon
But there's nothing you can do
If you're too scared to try
I like this song a lot too:
Fill your heart with light
Allow it to find you
Surrender your fears,
your pain and your tears.
Fill your soul with light
Allow it to guide you
To your true self
Don't be afraid to let go. ~ Francine Aubrey
As I cruise the Blogosphere, I am noticing a lot of people with Health Insurance issues. Not enough money to pay for meds that are needed to live their daily lives.People are going without. How many people actually die because they couldn't but their meds, I wonder. I don't think that would be listed on the death certificate as the cause of death, do you?
It makes me sick that a country like the United States of America even has a tiny issue with this, let alone a HUGE one.
I hate George Bush. I can't wait til he is out of the Presidency. Did I ever tell any of you that? AND no, DUBYA, the media did not create my opinion for me or influence me. I said when you were cheated into your position, that our country was going to Hell, cuz maybe YOU are the Anti- Christ. You have done nothing yet to prove my theory wrong. You continue to validate my thoughts.
The IRS wants to sell our personal information. To protect us.
OH GOODY!! NEATO!! Thanks Big Brother!!I don't know how I would manage my life without all those other people having my information.
I am in the wrong freaking buisness I guess.
Our personal tax information is already processed by people outside of the country. Our Federal Govenment is so helpful, and thoughtful to provide jobs to others by outsourceing more jobs. We have way too many jobs here in the US now, anyway. Nobody in the US needs that money to live on. GRRRRRRR.
Oops...got sidetracked from Goodness and Light...
Here is a resource that is awesome. I hope this info helps someone. They have programs that fit for everybody.
Free Medicine Foundation brings together America's pharmaceutical companies, doctors, patient advocacy organizations and civic groups to help low to mid-income, uninsured patients get free or nearly free prescription medicines. Its mission is to increase awareness of and enrollment in existing patient assistance programs for those who may be eligible. Through their website, Free Medicine Foundation offers a single point of access to more than 500 public and private patient assistance programs, including more than 150 programs offered by pharmaceutical companies. To learn more visit www.FreeMedicine.com or call 1-573-996-3333 to request a free application.
Thank Canada a little for this, by the way.
I am off to my storage shed to sort though stuff, and bring a load home. I hate going to my storage. I have have things in there for 2 years in May. It's time to sort through it and move on... More about that another day.
I am debating on having a yard sale. Sometimes is is worth it and sometimes not.
Tally HO!! Onward!!
Tits up, Chin out!!
I heard this song a few weeks ago on the radio. You know how you hear a song and it hits you and you love it? How it sings to your soul? I have only heard it a few times ever. I guess this group is really popular and the song has been out for awhile. Somehow I had never heard it.
It reminds me of me, it reminds me of you, and it reminds me of all of us at some point in our lives. I burst into tears the first time I heard it.
It's a beautiful song. I finally found all the lyrics.
"Nickel Creek "
"Jealous Of The Moon"
Tryin' on a brand new dress
But you haven't worn the old one yet
You've come too far
To turn around now
You've given up the good fight
You're as strong as anyone
You're back where you started from
I see you're back where you started from
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
Just being where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
Drag your pretty head around
Swearin' you're gonna drown
With a beautiful sigh
And a river of lies
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
Just stayin' where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
Why don't you call me,
I could save you
Together we'll find a God
we can pray to
That'll take you by the hand
I hate to see a friend of mine
Laughing out loud
When she's crying inside
But you've got your pride
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
But you're stayin' where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
You're starin' down the stars
Stayin' where you are
You're jealous of the moon
But there's nothing you can do
If you're too scared to try
I like this song a lot too:
Fill your heart with light
Allow it to find you
Surrender your fears,
your pain and your tears.
Fill your soul with light
Allow it to guide you
To your true self
Don't be afraid to let go. ~ Francine Aubrey
As I cruise the Blogosphere, I am noticing a lot of people with Health Insurance issues. Not enough money to pay for meds that are needed to live their daily lives.People are going without. How many people actually die because they couldn't but their meds, I wonder. I don't think that would be listed on the death certificate as the cause of death, do you?
It makes me sick that a country like the United States of America even has a tiny issue with this, let alone a HUGE one.
I hate George Bush. I can't wait til he is out of the Presidency. Did I ever tell any of you that? AND no, DUBYA, the media did not create my opinion for me or influence me. I said when you were cheated into your position, that our country was going to Hell, cuz maybe YOU are the Anti- Christ. You have done nothing yet to prove my theory wrong. You continue to validate my thoughts.
The IRS wants to sell our personal information. To protect us.
OH GOODY!! NEATO!! Thanks Big Brother!!I don't know how I would manage my life without all those other people having my information.
I am in the wrong freaking buisness I guess.
Our personal tax information is already processed by people outside of the country. Our Federal Govenment is so helpful, and thoughtful to provide jobs to others by outsourceing more jobs. We have way too many jobs here in the US now, anyway. Nobody in the US needs that money to live on. GRRRRRRR.
Oops...got sidetracked from Goodness and Light...
Here is a resource that is awesome. I hope this info helps someone. They have programs that fit for everybody.
Free Medicine Foundation brings together America's pharmaceutical companies, doctors, patient advocacy organizations and civic groups to help low to mid-income, uninsured patients get free or nearly free prescription medicines. Its mission is to increase awareness of and enrollment in existing patient assistance programs for those who may be eligible. Through their website, Free Medicine Foundation offers a single point of access to more than 500 public and private patient assistance programs, including more than 150 programs offered by pharmaceutical companies. To learn more visit www.FreeMedicine.com or call 1-573-996-3333 to request a free application.
Thank Canada a little for this, by the way.
I am off to my storage shed to sort though stuff, and bring a load home. I hate going to my storage. I have have things in there for 2 years in May. It's time to sort through it and move on... More about that another day.
I am debating on having a yard sale. Sometimes is is worth it and sometimes not.
Tally HO!! Onward!!
Tits up, Chin out!!
Monday, March 20, 2006
Spring Equinox
Happy Spring Equinox. I love this day.
I found this this morning and thought it was kind of cool to share:
Make a Prayer Flag - How To
Inspired by Earth, Water, Fire, and Air, by Cait Johnson (SkyLight Paths, 2003).
Spring is here, and the winds of change are blowing; the sky fills with birds and returning life is everywhere. In this season of airy expansiveness and hope, we can send out our wishes for peace, healing, and harmony on the winds with a simple prayer flag, inspired by a traditional Tibetan Buddhist practice. Here’s how to make a prayer flag.
This can be as simple or as elaborate as you like or as time allows, but all you really need is a small piece of smooth fabric, any size you like (although traditionally, these are not larger than about a twelve-inch square). You could use a piece torn from a discarded sheet, or an old handkerchief.
First, give some time and thought to the prayer you want to send out into the world. Now, using paint or an indelible pen or marker, write or draw your prayer on the fabric. If you have the time and the desire, you could add appliqués, hand-embroidery, or painting, but these are strictly optional.
Attach your flag to a length of string by folding down an inch of fabric from the top and doing a simple running stitch, then threading a piece of string through this channel. You could also use safety pins, or sew a length of ribbon at both top corners that are used to tie the flag to the string.
On a breezy day, bring your prayer flag and string outdoors and take a moment to ground and center yourself. Close your eyes and imagine the winds taking your prayer out to the world. Now choose a place to leave your flag where the wind will be able to move it. Branches of trees are ideal, but you could also place a stake in the ground and tie one end of your string to the top of it, with the other end of the string tied to a stone or smaller stake placed in or on the earth. Some people string their prayer flags across the top of a porch, or from tree to tree. You can add several prayer flags to your line.
Whenever you see your flag dancing, allow your heart to go out on the winds with your prayer.
****************
Wendy sent me a card from this site once and it has the neatestest stuff on it. Thanks Wendy!!
Peace and New Beginnings to all of you today.
I found this this morning and thought it was kind of cool to share:
Make a Prayer Flag - How To
Inspired by Earth, Water, Fire, and Air, by Cait Johnson (SkyLight Paths, 2003).
Spring is here, and the winds of change are blowing; the sky fills with birds and returning life is everywhere. In this season of airy expansiveness and hope, we can send out our wishes for peace, healing, and harmony on the winds with a simple prayer flag, inspired by a traditional Tibetan Buddhist practice. Here’s how to make a prayer flag.
This can be as simple or as elaborate as you like or as time allows, but all you really need is a small piece of smooth fabric, any size you like (although traditionally, these are not larger than about a twelve-inch square). You could use a piece torn from a discarded sheet, or an old handkerchief.
First, give some time and thought to the prayer you want to send out into the world. Now, using paint or an indelible pen or marker, write or draw your prayer on the fabric. If you have the time and the desire, you could add appliqués, hand-embroidery, or painting, but these are strictly optional.
Attach your flag to a length of string by folding down an inch of fabric from the top and doing a simple running stitch, then threading a piece of string through this channel. You could also use safety pins, or sew a length of ribbon at both top corners that are used to tie the flag to the string.
On a breezy day, bring your prayer flag and string outdoors and take a moment to ground and center yourself. Close your eyes and imagine the winds taking your prayer out to the world. Now choose a place to leave your flag where the wind will be able to move it. Branches of trees are ideal, but you could also place a stake in the ground and tie one end of your string to the top of it, with the other end of the string tied to a stone or smaller stake placed in or on the earth. Some people string their prayer flags across the top of a porch, or from tree to tree. You can add several prayer flags to your line.
Whenever you see your flag dancing, allow your heart to go out on the winds with your prayer.
****************
Wendy sent me a card from this site once and it has the neatestest stuff on it. Thanks Wendy!!
Peace and New Beginnings to all of you today.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
HELLO??
I have someone who has been to my blogs many time according to the ip address. They read the Church blog today and came from a blog here. I always go check out other blogs and what is there is lot of very deep poetry and a last post type poem. I contacted the IP provider with th IP address which is all I can do. I am just sick tho. I hope it was just a poem. If not then thank the Universe for cookies.
The IP Provider Supervisor that I spoke with was runniung a trace on the IP address and contacting the local police immediately.
The post was written 22 minutes after the last visit to my blog. It says in the profile that she is in the 8th grade (mispelled weirdly, like on purpose) but the poetry on this blog and the other two blogs that are linked to it and go back awhile are way too deep for a child. I believe any way....She has been writing for awhile. Very intelligent, well done, deep posts...
Say a prayer for her....That is all we can do.
I just hope it is a venting poem or a cry for help....
Like I said...this person reads both my blogs all the time.
I was going to go take a nap and I decided to check my stats real quick. That was 7 minutes after the blog post.
I was having a really good day.
I am sending out a prayer call to the Tower Troops...
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Folowing Taz...
I have decided to follow Tazfans lead and post pictures of my redecorating. Whenever I am in a rut I paint. Sometimes I start a painting project and think, why the HELL did I do that? I am in the midst of one of those.
I repainted the kitchen awhile back as you may remember, because my template was changing daily too. I am happy with the color of the kitchen. (Same green as my blog.)
The doc upped Dale's Adovan until he is off treatment, so once again we are both human. **He is sedated....I am breathing without being afraid of starting something** Jeesh, I will be so glad when this is over. I know you are probably sick of hearing about it but I gotta vent somewhere...
Onward....no more whining today.
SOOOOOOOO...I got up early today and took everything of the walls in the entryway. Ran to the paint store and picked out a color call Navaho White. Brought it home. Opened the can. Looked at it **see the confusion on my face yet??**and it is a yellow color. Thought... SHIT. It is snowing and I didn't want to go anywhere else today and this is messing up my plan.
So, my mind being the way it is, I thought, screw that, I am not going anywhere. I will just change the paint myself. So I went out to my studio, grabbed some paint and started mixing so I could have the color I wanted. Needless to say, 3 hours later, the color is really ugly, and I am going to go back to the paint store and spend another 30 bucks to buy another gallon of the color I wanted in the first place. I can't return the first one because I messed with it, soooooo my impulse will cost me twice as much, my plan is shot, and I have to make a new one. It is still snowing and now the traffic is crazy between here and the freaking paint store.
I think I will just take the back road and go to Home Depot instead.
The positive here? I now have a can of paint in a very customized color that I have no idea what I will do with.
This is what Dale gets for choosing an Aquarian woman to be his mate.
I repainted the kitchen awhile back as you may remember, because my template was changing daily too. I am happy with the color of the kitchen. (Same green as my blog.)
The doc upped Dale's Adovan until he is off treatment, so once again we are both human. **He is sedated....I am breathing without being afraid of starting something** Jeesh, I will be so glad when this is over. I know you are probably sick of hearing about it but I gotta vent somewhere...
Onward....no more whining today.
SOOOOOOOO...I got up early today and took everything of the walls in the entryway. Ran to the paint store and picked out a color call Navaho White. Brought it home. Opened the can. Looked at it **see the confusion on my face yet??**and it is a yellow color. Thought... SHIT. It is snowing and I didn't want to go anywhere else today and this is messing up my plan.
So, my mind being the way it is, I thought, screw that, I am not going anywhere. I will just change the paint myself. So I went out to my studio, grabbed some paint and started mixing so I could have the color I wanted. Needless to say, 3 hours later, the color is really ugly, and I am going to go back to the paint store and spend another 30 bucks to buy another gallon of the color I wanted in the first place. I can't return the first one because I messed with it, soooooo my impulse will cost me twice as much, my plan is shot, and I have to make a new one. It is still snowing and now the traffic is crazy between here and the freaking paint store.
I think I will just take the back road and go to Home Depot instead.
The positive here? I now have a can of paint in a very customized color that I have no idea what I will do with.
This is what Dale gets for choosing an Aquarian woman to be his mate.
Friday, March 03, 2006
March-ing on.
Well, Feb. has passed...
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. My site stats show me that there are a lot of you that die- hardedly check to see if I have written. Thanks.
NASCAR season has started, spring is here...and only a few more weeks of Hep C treatment HELL left.
Dale's viral count is still zero and as of yesterday, his doc's say his last week of treatment will be the week of 3/24/06. The trip to Fontana was way too much for him and Satan has returned in Full Force Plus and is showing no signs of leaving. I am turning into Satan's bride Satania as a result. UGH. UGLY. Not me. I have just freaking had it.
His Doc told me yesterday privately to try to keep standing my ground, and be strong... "It's the med's, honey" she said. "Remember it's not him it's the meds."
I am trying.
I have never been in a truly abusive relationship. I have dated men who showed signs of being abusive, but they didn't get to stay around to long. I did not grow up in an abusive household. Our family had it's issues...yes. All families do. We would fight our issues out, once and for all. Loud? Yes. Ongoing? No. Fight it out. Get it over with. Get on with it.
Vulnerable issues were NEVER allowed to be weapons. We were taught to be repectful of deep feelings and tender hearts. We did not call each other names and "Shut up" was against the freaking law to say. We could yell and get as mad as we wanted. We had to fight fair. My Dad taught us how to deal with issues immediately (my mom was a stuffer... put your blinder's on and pretend it's not there, so peace reigns in the house kinda gal). My dad taught us to compremise or agree to disagree. If you agreed to disagree, that was the end of it. My dad taught us that resentment and anger would eat you up like poison. He taught us to interact and work things out because we were a family, and families loved each other. Love of each other was always to be the first and most important goal. He was a freaking Saint. A drunken saint....but a Saint. Saint Sidney. I wish he was hear now...
But he's not...he is with my Mom again. I can here her say: Just forget about it and stop yelling. I can hear him say: Work it out. Talk it out. Yell it out. Just be respectful or agree to disagree. You love each other and that is what matters... Just get it over with before you go to bed. Stay up all night if you have to. Don't ever go to bed upset.
We have been fighting since Tuesday. Normally I ignore him unless he becomes personally insulting, emotionally abusive or is riding my ass about anything and everything. Therefore I have been on point and defensive, shields and boundaries drawn and defended. I feel like I am at war. Protecting myself. I crossed my own personal line and have went into my own screaming rages this week. Not ok. The Dance of Anger took a bad turn. I feel like crap. He feels like crap.
I am emotionally and physically drained. I am way behind on everything, but...that is the way it is for now. If I keep my dishes done and my house picked up, right now that is good enough for me.
So much for my ranting...on to the day. This too shall pass...
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. My site stats show me that there are a lot of you that die- hardedly check to see if I have written. Thanks.
NASCAR season has started, spring is here...and only a few more weeks of Hep C treatment HELL left.
Dale's viral count is still zero and as of yesterday, his doc's say his last week of treatment will be the week of 3/24/06. The trip to Fontana was way too much for him and Satan has returned in Full Force Plus and is showing no signs of leaving. I am turning into Satan's bride Satania as a result. UGH. UGLY. Not me. I have just freaking had it.
His Doc told me yesterday privately to try to keep standing my ground, and be strong... "It's the med's, honey" she said. "Remember it's not him it's the meds."
I am trying.
I have never been in a truly abusive relationship. I have dated men who showed signs of being abusive, but they didn't get to stay around to long. I did not grow up in an abusive household. Our family had it's issues...yes. All families do. We would fight our issues out, once and for all. Loud? Yes. Ongoing? No. Fight it out. Get it over with. Get on with it.
Vulnerable issues were NEVER allowed to be weapons. We were taught to be repectful of deep feelings and tender hearts. We did not call each other names and "Shut up" was against the freaking law to say. We could yell and get as mad as we wanted. We had to fight fair. My Dad taught us how to deal with issues immediately (my mom was a stuffer... put your blinder's on and pretend it's not there, so peace reigns in the house kinda gal). My dad taught us to compremise or agree to disagree. If you agreed to disagree, that was the end of it. My dad taught us that resentment and anger would eat you up like poison. He taught us to interact and work things out because we were a family, and families loved each other. Love of each other was always to be the first and most important goal. He was a freaking Saint. A drunken saint....but a Saint. Saint Sidney. I wish he was hear now...
But he's not...he is with my Mom again. I can here her say: Just forget about it and stop yelling. I can hear him say: Work it out. Talk it out. Yell it out. Just be respectful or agree to disagree. You love each other and that is what matters... Just get it over with before you go to bed. Stay up all night if you have to. Don't ever go to bed upset.
We have been fighting since Tuesday. Normally I ignore him unless he becomes personally insulting, emotionally abusive or is riding my ass about anything and everything. Therefore I have been on point and defensive, shields and boundaries drawn and defended. I feel like I am at war. Protecting myself. I crossed my own personal line and have went into my own screaming rages this week. Not ok. The Dance of Anger took a bad turn. I feel like crap. He feels like crap.
I am emotionally and physically drained. I am way behind on everything, but...that is the way it is for now. If I keep my dishes done and my house picked up, right now that is good enough for me.
So much for my ranting...on to the day. This too shall pass...
Monday, February 13, 2006
What does `lorem ipsum dolor' mean?
Frequently Asked Questions About fontsand - What does `lorem ipsum dolor' mean?: "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetaur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum Et harumd und lookum like Greek to me, dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Nam liber te conscient to factor tum poen legum odioque civiuda. Et tam neque pecun modut est neque nonor et imper ned libidig met, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed ut labore et dolore magna aliquam makes one wonder who would ever read this stuff? Bis nostrud exercitation ullam mmodo consequet. Duis aute in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. At vver eos et accusam dignissum qui blandit est praesent luptatum delenit aigue excepteur sint occae. Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Nam libe soluta nobis eligent optio est congue nihil impedit doming id Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, set eiusmod tempor incidunt et labore et dolore magna aliquam. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerc. Irure dolor in reprehend incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse molestaie cillum. Tia non ob ea soluad incommod quae egen ium improb fugiend. Officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Nam liber te conscient to factor tum poen legum odioque civiuda et tam. Neque pecun modut est neque nonor et imper ned libidig met, consecte"
The endo finale GRANDE AMEN.
The "Other things" Mystery...
Tee hee hee...I am getting back to my usual sunshinee Self now that the sun actually has been shining for more than a day and NASCAR season is once again upon us. Plus I have to say I am getting a pretty good kick today about the news that VP Cheney Head accidently shot his hunting buddy instead of the quail that should have been flying upwards. But alas, it was a Texas quail on a Republican farm. What can I say. Maybe the sport is different for Heads of State and their monkeys.. I can come up with all sorts of stuff to post on that one. **ROFLAO**...and I am off to do just that. But first, a word from the sponsor:
I have had so many comments and e-mails about my new template and the meanings of the words in the "Other things" in my sidebars.
I answer you all now...
It must remain a mystery for you to research...it may be an ancient magical ritual...or a story from a lost language. The answer is not difficult to find. Let it drive you crazy....burn your brain until you know the answer. It is good for our brains to be stretched.
Let me know what you find out.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Oops...
The previous post was supposed to be posted at The Church.
Dumb ol' me. I bow in humility.
This was supposed to be here:
You can't control other people. Not even a little; not a smidge. Every man and woman is their own sailing vessel powered by their own thoughts, emotions and imagination. You can't improve their smile, nor even add to their woes, unless, at some level, they let you.
So, does that pretty much clear up the affect others can have on you?
You rule -
Just don't let them know you're ticklish...
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
FOXSports.com - TonyStewart.com- Tony Stewart gets hearse back from SPEED Channel's Unique Whips
FOXSports.com - TonyStewart.com- Tony Stewart gets hearse back from SPEED Channel's Unique Whips
This is one of the reasons that I enjoy Tony Stewart so. He looks for fun in his life and he is not afraid to be weird. I look forward to the hurse being finished.
The Grateful Dead had a hearse in my old life. What a long strange trip it's been. Being a Deadhead and a NASCAR Fan really isn't that much different actually. They are each a Culture of their own, with many diverse people sharing the love of something in common...having fun, unique experiences with people all over the lad. Travelling far to see you favorites. Your hero's.
Jerry Garcia would have loved Tony's spirit of adventure. His dedication to his personal growth and spirit and loyalty to his group of family and freinds would have got him a pat on the back and a Right On!! as only Jerry could do. When he said it he meant it. Then they could have had a long converstion about Fractals and Chaos Theory and how it could be applied to Tony's life and performance. What a conversation the would be. Just imagine Tony crediting Quantum Physics for his improvement. That would be so awsome. **laughing as I write.** It would be too cool. Bad cool. Wicked cool!
Boogity! Boogity! Boogity!!
This is one of the reasons that I enjoy Tony Stewart so. He looks for fun in his life and he is not afraid to be weird. I look forward to the hurse being finished.
The Grateful Dead had a hearse in my old life. What a long strange trip it's been. Being a Deadhead and a NASCAR Fan really isn't that much different actually. They are each a Culture of their own, with many diverse people sharing the love of something in common...having fun, unique experiences with people all over the lad. Travelling far to see you favorites. Your hero's.
Jerry Garcia would have loved Tony's spirit of adventure. His dedication to his personal growth and spirit and loyalty to his group of family and freinds would have got him a pat on the back and a Right On!! as only Jerry could do. When he said it he meant it. Then they could have had a long converstion about Fractals and Chaos Theory and how it could be applied to Tony's life and performance. What a conversation the would be. Just imagine Tony crediting Quantum Physics for his improvement. That would be so awsome. **laughing as I write.** It would be too cool. Bad cool. Wicked cool!
Boogity! Boogity! Boogity!!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
February
I hate February. The memories of the last couple of weeks of my Mom's life flood in...I wish it were just good memories, but it's mostly horror. I cannot believe it has been nearly seven years. It is like yesterday. The same sickening feelings hit me every year, right after my birthday. I hate it. Of course, I remember the good times and the fact that my mother loved me very much. It's just that my body- brain memory automatically kicks into processing mode...Unconscious feelings that I buried at the time out of coping necessity, come rolling over me like huge ocean waves, that swirl over me, get caught in little inlets and swirl around for awhile before they go back out to sea. Then the next wave hits...on and on...every year there are new memories to process.
I worked in Crisis ( DV, Child Protection, Hospice) work for so long, that being able to turn off my emotions in times of urgency was an emotional tool. I am the Queen Mistress of Detachment. I am glad I had that tool at the time. It allowed me to cope with the issues at hand, automatically. I was in auto pilot. I pay the price for that auto pilot mode every Feb. with a severe bout of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
I was the strong one in the family. I was the counselor. I knew about the importance of the family processing feelings. I knew the death process. I knew what happened both physically, spiritually and emotionally to the patient and the families.
I was working as a Hospice Counselor at the time that my Mom was diagnosed with brain cancer ( Dec. 23,1998). I went on leave when she was diagnosed, because I knew it wouldn't be healthy for me, dealing with death every day. I needed to be there for my Mom and my family. I knew what brain cancer brings. I had seen it many times. We were determined as a family that my mother would not go to a nursing home to die. She didn't. She died at home on Feb.17, 1999.
I am writing a lot in my "secret journal" at Oprah.com right now. I can process and whine and cry and go into the horror in detail there if I need. I can scream and holler and write letters of anger to God/Goddess/All there is there with out feeling like I am pushing my stuff on anyone else. I also blab and on,in run on sentences. Jump from ship to ship. I'll spare everyone else that.
It gets a little better every year, as far as the day to day dealing with the loss and my grieving. I had five deaths in my immediate family in a 2 year period. In Oct.2000, when the last death, the death of my Dad (he was my step dad but my DAD) happened, there was a part of me that went away and never came back. Like standing in front of a big thick picture window and shattering it with a sledge hammer. That is how I felt and feel a lot still... The window can't be fixed. It can be replaced with a new piece of glass and a different view, but never fixed. I still find shards and slivers of glass sometimes...always lots of pieces in February.
Death sucks...grieving sucks...moving on sucks because you can't move on without processing the past. The whole thing SUCKS.
Bear with my posts if they get a little icky and I don't spell check or I disappear for a day or two, in the next few weeks. I am working on my own own stuff and dive into my hermit crab shell to do it. It's an Aquarian thing...I am ok, I will always be ok.
I am a tough little cookie...
The only good thing I ever look forward to in February, is NASCAR starts again. Thank Goodness for NASCAR. **LOL**
I worked in Crisis ( DV, Child Protection, Hospice) work for so long, that being able to turn off my emotions in times of urgency was an emotional tool. I am the Queen Mistress of Detachment. I am glad I had that tool at the time. It allowed me to cope with the issues at hand, automatically. I was in auto pilot. I pay the price for that auto pilot mode every Feb. with a severe bout of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
I was the strong one in the family. I was the counselor. I knew about the importance of the family processing feelings. I knew the death process. I knew what happened both physically, spiritually and emotionally to the patient and the families.
I was working as a Hospice Counselor at the time that my Mom was diagnosed with brain cancer ( Dec. 23,1998). I went on leave when she was diagnosed, because I knew it wouldn't be healthy for me, dealing with death every day. I needed to be there for my Mom and my family. I knew what brain cancer brings. I had seen it many times. We were determined as a family that my mother would not go to a nursing home to die. She didn't. She died at home on Feb.17, 1999.
I am writing a lot in my "secret journal" at Oprah.com right now. I can process and whine and cry and go into the horror in detail there if I need. I can scream and holler and write letters of anger to God/Goddess/All there is there with out feeling like I am pushing my stuff on anyone else. I also blab and on,in run on sentences. Jump from ship to ship. I'll spare everyone else that.
It gets a little better every year, as far as the day to day dealing with the loss and my grieving. I had five deaths in my immediate family in a 2 year period. In Oct.2000, when the last death, the death of my Dad (he was my step dad but my DAD) happened, there was a part of me that went away and never came back. Like standing in front of a big thick picture window and shattering it with a sledge hammer. That is how I felt and feel a lot still... The window can't be fixed. It can be replaced with a new piece of glass and a different view, but never fixed. I still find shards and slivers of glass sometimes...always lots of pieces in February.
Death sucks...grieving sucks...moving on sucks because you can't move on without processing the past. The whole thing SUCKS.
Bear with my posts if they get a little icky and I don't spell check or I disappear for a day or two, in the next few weeks. I am working on my own own stuff and dive into my hermit crab shell to do it. It's an Aquarian thing...I am ok, I will always be ok.
I am a tough little cookie...
The only good thing I ever look forward to in February, is NASCAR starts again. Thank Goodness for NASCAR. **LOL**
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Thank you ALL!!
Thank all of you for the lovely comments and cards. It means a lot to me. We have such a great little circle. I wouldn't give it up for the world!
Bright Blessings to all of you!! ...and now I shall sleep.
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