Thursday, March 30, 2006

Plum Village, Hypnosis and Song of the South!

WARNING!! Do not read this if you do not want to be hypnotized?

Today is the last day of Dale's treatment! Yee haw!! Yahoo!! Yippity Skippity!
Zippity DOO DAH! Skippity AYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

**sing along with me now....**

Wonderful Feeling! Wonderful DaAAAYYY!!!!
that song will be stuck in your head all day now.
That's right...very good...and you will have a happy day today, won't you? are.
Aren't you now?

Now... that you are all happy go here and vote for Tony Stewart.

Have a fabulous day!!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


Dear All:
Still alive.
2 more days left til end of treatment. Yay!
Go here,
It's where I am when I am not sorting through my ruins or in the Emergency room with Dale.(yes he is fine)
More later....'

Friday, March 24, 2006

The Planet of Unreality

Regarding your comments to my previous post:
Of course, I took pictures. The one thing about having an obsession with cloud formations is I miss something cool when I don't have my camera. Therefore I have my camera with me at all times. It is like my wallet.

Of course I had a little chat with the Manager and then I called the OWNER. I called the owner not only in regard to the disaster I walked into, but also had a little chat regarding the attitude of of his young manager. I will be meeting with the owner tomorrow. He can negotiate something with me here, as long as it is on my terms. If not, we are going to court.
Here is a pretty good George Dumr-n-ya article.
I love Eugene Robinson...

The Planet of Unreality


Thursday, March 23, 2006

An inside look into my life ...


So I went to my storage unit this morning....and well... let's just say I am not happy camper and the manager of the place that I have paid $145.00 a fucking month to store my stuff safely for nearly 2 years knows it.
It has only been a little over a month since I was there last.
I opened my door .... the smell hit me...and there was mold all over the walls. All over my stuff.
AND there were also MICE droppings ALL OVER.
Needless to say I got a moving truck my stuff all out of there and in my back yard and I will be sorting through it non stop til I am done, working off my RAGE.
I probably won't post here again until Monday, unless I need to do some more venting. I will be posting at The Church tho as it is Bristol weekend and I need to do my scope's and another movee of the week about my NASCAR Men of Daring vs. The Aliens. If you haven't seen all of the saga, you can do a search of the blog posts on Aliens and it will catch you up to where we are.

Buh-bye for now.
Chin up....Tit's out.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Jealous of the Moon and RX Issues

Well...I was going to try to post some pictures of my before and after and the progress I have made, but I guess the picture uploading issue isn't resolved. So again, another day. I got some really cool cloud pictures I wanted to show too. Maybe I will upload them somewhere else and post the link later on today, if I get the time.

I heard this song a few weeks ago on the radio. You know how you hear a song and it hits you and you love it? How it sings to your soul? I have only heard it a few times ever. I guess this group is really popular and the song has been out for awhile. Somehow I had never heard it.
It reminds me of me, it reminds me of you, and it reminds me of all of us at some point in our lives. I burst into tears the first time I heard it.
It's a beautiful song. I finally found all the lyrics.

"Nickel Creek "

"Jealous Of The Moon"

Tryin' on a brand new dress
But you haven't worn the old one yet
You've come too far
To turn around now

You've given up the good fight
You're as strong as anyone
You're back where you started from
I see you're back where you started from

Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
Just being where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try

Drag your pretty head around
Swearin' you're gonna drown
With a beautiful sigh
And a river of lies
Starin' down the stars

Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
Just stayin' where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try

Why don't you call me,
I could save you
Together we'll find a God
we can pray to
That'll take you by the hand

I hate to see a friend of mine
Laughing out loud
When she's crying inside
But you've got your pride
Starin' down the stars

Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
But you're stayin' where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try

You're starin' down the stars
Stayin' where you are
You're jealous of the moon
But there's nothing you can do
If you're too scared to try

I like this song a lot too:

Fill your heart with light
Allow it to find you
Surrender your fears,
your pain and your tears.
Fill your soul with light
Allow it to guide you
To your true self
Don't be afraid to let go.
~ Francine Aubrey

As I cruise the Blogosphere, I am noticing a lot of people with Health Insurance issues. Not enough money to pay for meds that are needed to live their daily lives.People are going without. How many people actually die because they couldn't but their meds, I wonder. I don't think that would be listed on the death certificate as the cause of death, do you?
It makes me sick that a country like the United States of America even has a tiny issue with this, let alone a HUGE one.
I hate George Bush. I can't wait til he is out of the Presidency. Did I ever tell any of you that? AND no, DUBYA, the media did not create my opinion for me or influence me. I said when you were cheated into your position, that our country was going to Hell, cuz maybe YOU are the Anti- Christ. You have done nothing yet to prove my theory wrong. You continue to validate my thoughts.
The IRS wants to sell our personal information. To protect us.
OH GOODY!! NEATO!! Thanks Big Brother!!I don't know how I would manage my life without all those other people having my information.
I am in the wrong freaking buisness I guess.
Our personal tax information is already processed by people outside of the country. Our Federal Govenment is so helpful, and thoughtful to provide jobs to others by outsourceing more jobs. We have way too many jobs here in the US now, anyway. Nobody in the US needs that money to live on. GRRRRRRR. sidetracked from Goodness and Light...
Here is a resource that is awesome. I hope this info helps someone. They have programs that fit for everybody.
Free Medicine Foundation brings together America's pharmaceutical companies, doctors, patient advocacy organizations and civic groups to help low to mid-income, uninsured patients get free or nearly free prescription medicines. Its mission is to increase awareness of and enrollment in existing patient assistance programs for those who may be eligible. Through their website, Free Medicine Foundation offers a single point of access to more than 500 public and private patient assistance programs, including more than 150 programs offered by pharmaceutical companies. To learn more visit or call 1-573-996-3333 to request a free application.
Thank Canada a little for this, by the way.

I am off to my storage shed to sort though stuff, and bring a load home. I hate going to my storage. I have have things in there for 2 years in May. It's time to sort through it and move on... More about that another day.
I am debating on having a yard sale. Sometimes is is worth it and sometimes not.

Tally HO!! Onward!!
Tits up, Chin out!!

Monday, March 20, 2006

Spring Equinox

Happy Spring Equinox. I love this day.
I found this this morning and thought it was kind of cool to share:

Make a Prayer Flag - How To

Inspired by Earth, Water, Fire, and Air, by Cait Johnson (SkyLight Paths, 2003).
Spring is here, and the winds of change are blowing; the sky fills with birds and returning life is everywhere. In this season of airy expansiveness and hope, we can send out our wishes for peace, healing, and harmony on the winds with a simple prayer flag, inspired by a traditional Tibetan Buddhist practice. Here’s how to make a prayer flag.

This can be as simple or as elaborate as you like or as time allows, but all you really need is a small piece of smooth fabric, any size you like (although traditionally, these are not larger than about a twelve-inch square). You could use a piece torn from a discarded sheet, or an old handkerchief.
First, give some time and thought to the prayer you want to send out into the world. Now, using paint or an indelible pen or marker, write or draw your prayer on the fabric. If you have the time and the desire, you could add appliqu├ęs, hand-embroidery, or painting, but these are strictly optional.
Attach your flag to a length of string by folding down an inch of fabric from the top and doing a simple running stitch, then threading a piece of string through this channel. You could also use safety pins, or sew a length of ribbon at both top corners that are used to tie the flag to the string.
On a breezy day, bring your prayer flag and string outdoors and take a moment to ground and center yourself. Close your eyes and imagine the winds taking your prayer out to the world. Now choose a place to leave your flag where the wind will be able to move it. Branches of trees are ideal, but you could also place a stake in the ground and tie one end of your string to the top of it, with the other end of the string tied to a stone or smaller stake placed in or on the earth. Some people string their prayer flags across the top of a porch, or from tree to tree. You can add several prayer flags to your line.
Whenever you see your flag dancing, allow your heart to go out on the winds with your prayer.

Wendy sent me a card from this site once and it has the neatestest stuff on it. Thanks Wendy!!
Peace and New Beginnings to all of you today.

Sunday, March 19, 2006


I have someone who has been to my blogs many time according to the ip address. They read the Church blog today and came from a blog here. I always go check out other blogs and what is there is lot of very deep poetry and a last post type poem. I contacted the IP provider with th IP address which is all I can do. I am just sick tho. I hope it was just a poem. If not then thank the Universe for cookies.
The IP Provider Supervisor that I spoke with was runniung a trace on the IP address and contacting the local police immediately.
The post was written 22 minutes after the last visit to my blog. It says in the profile that she is in the 8th grade (mispelled weirdly, like on purpose) but the poetry on this blog and the other two blogs that are linked to it and go back awhile are way too deep for a child. I believe any way....She has been writing for awhile. Very intelligent, well done, deep posts...
Say a prayer for her....That is all we can do.
I just hope it is a venting poem or a cry for help....
Like I said...this person reads both my blogs all the time.
I was going to go take a nap and I decided to check my stats real quick. That was 7 minutes after the blog post.
I was having a really good day.
I am sending out a prayer call to the Tower Troops...

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Folowing Taz...

I have decided to follow Tazfans lead and post pictures of my redecorating. Whenever I am in a rut I paint. Sometimes I start a painting project and think, why the HELL did I do that? I am in the midst of one of those.
I repainted the kitchen awhile back as you may remember, because my template was changing daily too. I am happy with the color of the kitchen. (Same green as my blog.)
The doc upped Dale's Adovan until he is off treatment, so once again we are both human. **He is sedated....I am breathing without being afraid of starting something** Jeesh, I will be so glad when this is over. I know you are probably sick of hearing about it but I gotta vent somewhere... more whining today.
SOOOOOOOO...I got up early today and took everything of the walls in the entryway. Ran to the paint store and picked out a color call Navaho White. Brought it home. Opened the can. Looked at it **see the confusion on my face yet??**and it is a yellow color. Thought... SHIT. It is snowing and I didn't want to go anywhere else today and this is messing up my plan.
So, my mind being the way it is, I thought, screw that, I am not going anywhere. I will just change the paint myself. So I went out to my studio, grabbed some paint and started mixing so I could have the color I wanted. Needless to say, 3 hours later, the color is really ugly, and I am going to go back to the paint store and spend another 30 bucks to buy another gallon of the color I wanted in the first place. I can't return the first one because I messed with it, soooooo my impulse will cost me twice as much, my plan is shot, and I have to make a new one. It is still snowing and now the traffic is crazy between here and the freaking paint store.
I think I will just take the back road and go to Home Depot instead.

The positive here? I now have a can of paint in a very customized color that I have no idea what I will do with.

This is what Dale gets for choosing an Aquarian woman to be his mate.

Friday, March 03, 2006

March-ing on.

Well, Feb. has passed...
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. My site stats show me that there are a lot of you that die- hardedly check to see if I have written. Thanks.
NASCAR season has started, spring is here...and only a few more weeks of Hep C treatment HELL left.
Dale's viral count is still zero and as of yesterday, his doc's say his last week of treatment will be the week of 3/24/06. The trip to Fontana was way too much for him and Satan has returned in Full Force Plus and is showing no signs of leaving. I am turning into Satan's bride Satania as a result. UGH. UGLY. Not me. I have just freaking had it.
His Doc told me yesterday privately to try to keep standing my ground, and be strong... "It's the med's, honey" she said. "Remember it's not him it's the meds."
I am trying.
I have never been in a truly abusive relationship. I have dated men who showed signs of being abusive, but they didn't get to stay around to long. I did not grow up in an abusive household. Our family had it's issues...yes. All families do. We would fight our issues out, once and for all. Loud? Yes. Ongoing? No. Fight it out. Get it over with. Get on with it.
Vulnerable issues were NEVER allowed to be weapons. We were taught to be repectful of deep feelings and tender hearts. We did not call each other names and "Shut up" was against the freaking law to say. We could yell and get as mad as we wanted. We had to fight fair. My Dad taught us how to deal with issues immediately (my mom was a stuffer... put your blinder's on and pretend it's not there, so peace reigns in the house kinda gal). My dad taught us to compremise or agree to disagree. If you agreed to disagree, that was the end of it. My dad taught us that resentment and anger would eat you up like poison. He taught us to interact and work things out because we were a family, and families loved each other. Love of each other was always to be the first and most important goal. He was a freaking Saint. A drunken saint....but a Saint. Saint Sidney. I wish he was hear now...
But he's not...he is with my Mom again. I can here her say: Just forget about it and stop yelling. I can hear him say: Work it out. Talk it out. Yell it out. Just be respectful or agree to disagree. You love each other and that is what matters... Just get it over with before you go to bed. Stay up all night if you have to. Don't ever go to bed upset.
We have been fighting since Tuesday. Normally I ignore him unless he becomes personally insulting, emotionally abusive or is riding my ass about anything and everything. Therefore I have been on point and defensive, shields and boundaries drawn and defended. I feel like I am at war. Protecting myself. I crossed my own personal line and have went into my own screaming rages this week. Not ok. The Dance of Anger took a bad turn. I feel like crap. He feels like crap.
I am emotionally and physically drained. I am way behind on everything, but...that is the way it is for now. If I keep my dishes done and my house picked up, right now that is good enough for me.
So much for my ranting...on to the day. This too shall pass...