RRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!
So I went to my storage unit this morning....and well... let's just say I am not happy camper and the manager of the place that I have paid $145.00 a fucking month to store my stuff safely for nearly 2 years knows it.
It has only been a little over a month since I was there last.
I opened my door .... the smell hit me...and there was mold all over the walls. All over my stuff.
AND there were also MICE droppings ALL OVER.
Needless to say I got a moving truck my stuff all out of there and in my back yard and I will be sorting through it non stop til I am done, working off my RAGE.
I probably won't post here again until Monday, unless I need to do some more venting. I will be posting at The Church tho as it is Bristol weekend and I need to do my scope's and another movee of the week about my NASCAR Men of Daring vs. The Aliens. If you haven't seen all of the saga, you can do a search of the blog posts on Aliens and it will catch you up to where we are.
Buh-bye for now.
Chin up....Tit's out.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Jealous of the Moon and RX Issues
Well...I was going to try to post some pictures of my before and after and the progress I have made, but I guess the picture uploading issue isn't resolved. So again, another day. I got some really cool cloud pictures I wanted to show too. Maybe I will upload them somewhere else and post the link later on today, if I get the time.
I heard this song a few weeks ago on the radio. You know how you hear a song and it hits you and you love it? How it sings to your soul? I have only heard it a few times ever. I guess this group is really popular and the song has been out for awhile. Somehow I had never heard it.
It reminds me of me, it reminds me of you, and it reminds me of all of us at some point in our lives. I burst into tears the first time I heard it.
It's a beautiful song. I finally found all the lyrics.
"Nickel Creek "
"Jealous Of The Moon"
Tryin' on a brand new dress
But you haven't worn the old one yet
You've come too far
To turn around now
You've given up the good fight
You're as strong as anyone
You're back where you started from
I see you're back where you started from
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
Just being where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
Drag your pretty head around
Swearin' you're gonna drown
With a beautiful sigh
And a river of lies
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
Just stayin' where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
Why don't you call me,
I could save you
Together we'll find a God
we can pray to
That'll take you by the hand
I hate to see a friend of mine
Laughing out loud
When she's crying inside
But you've got your pride
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
But you're stayin' where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
You're starin' down the stars
Stayin' where you are
You're jealous of the moon
But there's nothing you can do
If you're too scared to try
I like this song a lot too:
Fill your heart with light
Allow it to find you
Surrender your fears,
your pain and your tears.
Fill your soul with light
Allow it to guide you
To your true self
Don't be afraid to let go. ~ Francine Aubrey
As I cruise the Blogosphere, I am noticing a lot of people with Health Insurance issues. Not enough money to pay for meds that are needed to live their daily lives.People are going without. How many people actually die because they couldn't but their meds, I wonder. I don't think that would be listed on the death certificate as the cause of death, do you?
It makes me sick that a country like the United States of America even has a tiny issue with this, let alone a HUGE one.
I hate George Bush. I can't wait til he is out of the Presidency. Did I ever tell any of you that? AND no, DUBYA, the media did not create my opinion for me or influence me. I said when you were cheated into your position, that our country was going to Hell, cuz maybe YOU are the Anti- Christ. You have done nothing yet to prove my theory wrong. You continue to validate my thoughts.
The IRS wants to sell our personal information. To protect us.
OH GOODY!! NEATO!! Thanks Big Brother!!I don't know how I would manage my life without all those other people having my information.
I am in the wrong freaking buisness I guess.
Our personal tax information is already processed by people outside of the country. Our Federal Govenment is so helpful, and thoughtful to provide jobs to others by outsourceing more jobs. We have way too many jobs here in the US now, anyway. Nobody in the US needs that money to live on. GRRRRRRR.
Oops...got sidetracked from Goodness and Light...
Here is a resource that is awesome. I hope this info helps someone. They have programs that fit for everybody.
Free Medicine Foundation brings together America's pharmaceutical companies, doctors, patient advocacy organizations and civic groups to help low to mid-income, uninsured patients get free or nearly free prescription medicines. Its mission is to increase awareness of and enrollment in existing patient assistance programs for those who may be eligible. Through their website, Free Medicine Foundation offers a single point of access to more than 500 public and private patient assistance programs, including more than 150 programs offered by pharmaceutical companies. To learn more visit www.FreeMedicine.com or call 1-573-996-3333 to request a free application.
Thank Canada a little for this, by the way.
I am off to my storage shed to sort though stuff, and bring a load home. I hate going to my storage. I have have things in there for 2 years in May. It's time to sort through it and move on... More about that another day.
I am debating on having a yard sale. Sometimes is is worth it and sometimes not.
Tally HO!! Onward!!
Tits up, Chin out!!
I heard this song a few weeks ago on the radio. You know how you hear a song and it hits you and you love it? How it sings to your soul? I have only heard it a few times ever. I guess this group is really popular and the song has been out for awhile. Somehow I had never heard it.
It reminds me of me, it reminds me of you, and it reminds me of all of us at some point in our lives. I burst into tears the first time I heard it.
It's a beautiful song. I finally found all the lyrics.
"Nickel Creek "
"Jealous Of The Moon"
Tryin' on a brand new dress
But you haven't worn the old one yet
You've come too far
To turn around now
You've given up the good fight
You're as strong as anyone
You're back where you started from
I see you're back where you started from
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
Just being where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
Drag your pretty head around
Swearin' you're gonna drown
With a beautiful sigh
And a river of lies
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
Just stayin' where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
Why don't you call me,
I could save you
Together we'll find a God
we can pray to
That'll take you by the hand
I hate to see a friend of mine
Laughing out loud
When she's crying inside
But you've got your pride
Starin' down the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly
But you're stayin' where you are
There's nothin' you can do
If you're too scared to try
You're starin' down the stars
Stayin' where you are
You're jealous of the moon
But there's nothing you can do
If you're too scared to try
I like this song a lot too:
Fill your heart with light
Allow it to find you
Surrender your fears,
your pain and your tears.
Fill your soul with light
Allow it to guide you
To your true self
Don't be afraid to let go. ~ Francine Aubrey
As I cruise the Blogosphere, I am noticing a lot of people with Health Insurance issues. Not enough money to pay for meds that are needed to live their daily lives.People are going without. How many people actually die because they couldn't but their meds, I wonder. I don't think that would be listed on the death certificate as the cause of death, do you?
It makes me sick that a country like the United States of America even has a tiny issue with this, let alone a HUGE one.
I hate George Bush. I can't wait til he is out of the Presidency. Did I ever tell any of you that? AND no, DUBYA, the media did not create my opinion for me or influence me. I said when you were cheated into your position, that our country was going to Hell, cuz maybe YOU are the Anti- Christ. You have done nothing yet to prove my theory wrong. You continue to validate my thoughts.
The IRS wants to sell our personal information. To protect us.
OH GOODY!! NEATO!! Thanks Big Brother!!I don't know how I would manage my life without all those other people having my information.
I am in the wrong freaking buisness I guess.
Our personal tax information is already processed by people outside of the country. Our Federal Govenment is so helpful, and thoughtful to provide jobs to others by outsourceing more jobs. We have way too many jobs here in the US now, anyway. Nobody in the US needs that money to live on. GRRRRRRR.
Oops...got sidetracked from Goodness and Light...
Here is a resource that is awesome. I hope this info helps someone. They have programs that fit for everybody.
Free Medicine Foundation brings together America's pharmaceutical companies, doctors, patient advocacy organizations and civic groups to help low to mid-income, uninsured patients get free or nearly free prescription medicines. Its mission is to increase awareness of and enrollment in existing patient assistance programs for those who may be eligible. Through their website, Free Medicine Foundation offers a single point of access to more than 500 public and private patient assistance programs, including more than 150 programs offered by pharmaceutical companies. To learn more visit www.FreeMedicine.com or call 1-573-996-3333 to request a free application.
Thank Canada a little for this, by the way.
I am off to my storage shed to sort though stuff, and bring a load home. I hate going to my storage. I have have things in there for 2 years in May. It's time to sort through it and move on... More about that another day.
I am debating on having a yard sale. Sometimes is is worth it and sometimes not.
Tally HO!! Onward!!
Tits up, Chin out!!
Monday, March 20, 2006
Spring Equinox
Happy Spring Equinox. I love this day.
I found this this morning and thought it was kind of cool to share:
Make a Prayer Flag - How To
Inspired by Earth, Water, Fire, and Air, by Cait Johnson (SkyLight Paths, 2003).
Spring is here, and the winds of change are blowing; the sky fills with birds and returning life is everywhere. In this season of airy expansiveness and hope, we can send out our wishes for peace, healing, and harmony on the winds with a simple prayer flag, inspired by a traditional Tibetan Buddhist practice. Here’s how to make a prayer flag.
This can be as simple or as elaborate as you like or as time allows, but all you really need is a small piece of smooth fabric, any size you like (although traditionally, these are not larger than about a twelve-inch square). You could use a piece torn from a discarded sheet, or an old handkerchief.
First, give some time and thought to the prayer you want to send out into the world. Now, using paint or an indelible pen or marker, write or draw your prayer on the fabric. If you have the time and the desire, you could add appliqués, hand-embroidery, or painting, but these are strictly optional.
Attach your flag to a length of string by folding down an inch of fabric from the top and doing a simple running stitch, then threading a piece of string through this channel. You could also use safety pins, or sew a length of ribbon at both top corners that are used to tie the flag to the string.
On a breezy day, bring your prayer flag and string outdoors and take a moment to ground and center yourself. Close your eyes and imagine the winds taking your prayer out to the world. Now choose a place to leave your flag where the wind will be able to move it. Branches of trees are ideal, but you could also place a stake in the ground and tie one end of your string to the top of it, with the other end of the string tied to a stone or smaller stake placed in or on the earth. Some people string their prayer flags across the top of a porch, or from tree to tree. You can add several prayer flags to your line.
Whenever you see your flag dancing, allow your heart to go out on the winds with your prayer.
****************
Wendy sent me a card from this site once and it has the neatestest stuff on it. Thanks Wendy!!
Peace and New Beginnings to all of you today.
I found this this morning and thought it was kind of cool to share:
Make a Prayer Flag - How To
Inspired by Earth, Water, Fire, and Air, by Cait Johnson (SkyLight Paths, 2003).
Spring is here, and the winds of change are blowing; the sky fills with birds and returning life is everywhere. In this season of airy expansiveness and hope, we can send out our wishes for peace, healing, and harmony on the winds with a simple prayer flag, inspired by a traditional Tibetan Buddhist practice. Here’s how to make a prayer flag.
This can be as simple or as elaborate as you like or as time allows, but all you really need is a small piece of smooth fabric, any size you like (although traditionally, these are not larger than about a twelve-inch square). You could use a piece torn from a discarded sheet, or an old handkerchief.
First, give some time and thought to the prayer you want to send out into the world. Now, using paint or an indelible pen or marker, write or draw your prayer on the fabric. If you have the time and the desire, you could add appliqués, hand-embroidery, or painting, but these are strictly optional.
Attach your flag to a length of string by folding down an inch of fabric from the top and doing a simple running stitch, then threading a piece of string through this channel. You could also use safety pins, or sew a length of ribbon at both top corners that are used to tie the flag to the string.
On a breezy day, bring your prayer flag and string outdoors and take a moment to ground and center yourself. Close your eyes and imagine the winds taking your prayer out to the world. Now choose a place to leave your flag where the wind will be able to move it. Branches of trees are ideal, but you could also place a stake in the ground and tie one end of your string to the top of it, with the other end of the string tied to a stone or smaller stake placed in or on the earth. Some people string their prayer flags across the top of a porch, or from tree to tree. You can add several prayer flags to your line.
Whenever you see your flag dancing, allow your heart to go out on the winds with your prayer.
****************
Wendy sent me a card from this site once and it has the neatestest stuff on it. Thanks Wendy!!
Peace and New Beginnings to all of you today.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
HELLO??
I have someone who has been to my blogs many time according to the ip address. They read the Church blog today and came from a blog here. I always go check out other blogs and what is there is lot of very deep poetry and a last post type poem. I contacted the IP provider with th IP address which is all I can do. I am just sick tho. I hope it was just a poem. If not then thank the Universe for cookies.
The IP Provider Supervisor that I spoke with was runniung a trace on the IP address and contacting the local police immediately.
The post was written 22 minutes after the last visit to my blog. It says in the profile that she is in the 8th grade (mispelled weirdly, like on purpose) but the poetry on this blog and the other two blogs that are linked to it and go back awhile are way too deep for a child. I believe any way....She has been writing for awhile. Very intelligent, well done, deep posts...
Say a prayer for her....That is all we can do.
I just hope it is a venting poem or a cry for help....
Like I said...this person reads both my blogs all the time.
I was going to go take a nap and I decided to check my stats real quick. That was 7 minutes after the blog post.
I was having a really good day.
I am sending out a prayer call to the Tower Troops...
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Folowing Taz...
I have decided to follow Tazfans lead and post pictures of my redecorating. Whenever I am in a rut I paint. Sometimes I start a painting project and think, why the HELL did I do that? I am in the midst of one of those.
I repainted the kitchen awhile back as you may remember, because my template was changing daily too. I am happy with the color of the kitchen. (Same green as my blog.)
The doc upped Dale's Adovan until he is off treatment, so once again we are both human. **He is sedated....I am breathing without being afraid of starting something** Jeesh, I will be so glad when this is over. I know you are probably sick of hearing about it but I gotta vent somewhere...
Onward....no more whining today.
SOOOOOOOO...I got up early today and took everything of the walls in the entryway. Ran to the paint store and picked out a color call Navaho White. Brought it home. Opened the can. Looked at it **see the confusion on my face yet??**and it is a yellow color. Thought... SHIT. It is snowing and I didn't want to go anywhere else today and this is messing up my plan.
So, my mind being the way it is, I thought, screw that, I am not going anywhere. I will just change the paint myself. So I went out to my studio, grabbed some paint and started mixing so I could have the color I wanted. Needless to say, 3 hours later, the color is really ugly, and I am going to go back to the paint store and spend another 30 bucks to buy another gallon of the color I wanted in the first place. I can't return the first one because I messed with it, soooooo my impulse will cost me twice as much, my plan is shot, and I have to make a new one. It is still snowing and now the traffic is crazy between here and the freaking paint store.
I think I will just take the back road and go to Home Depot instead.
The positive here? I now have a can of paint in a very customized color that I have no idea what I will do with.
This is what Dale gets for choosing an Aquarian woman to be his mate.
I repainted the kitchen awhile back as you may remember, because my template was changing daily too. I am happy with the color of the kitchen. (Same green as my blog.)
The doc upped Dale's Adovan until he is off treatment, so once again we are both human. **He is sedated....I am breathing without being afraid of starting something** Jeesh, I will be so glad when this is over. I know you are probably sick of hearing about it but I gotta vent somewhere...
Onward....no more whining today.
SOOOOOOOO...I got up early today and took everything of the walls in the entryway. Ran to the paint store and picked out a color call Navaho White. Brought it home. Opened the can. Looked at it **see the confusion on my face yet??**and it is a yellow color. Thought... SHIT. It is snowing and I didn't want to go anywhere else today and this is messing up my plan.
So, my mind being the way it is, I thought, screw that, I am not going anywhere. I will just change the paint myself. So I went out to my studio, grabbed some paint and started mixing so I could have the color I wanted. Needless to say, 3 hours later, the color is really ugly, and I am going to go back to the paint store and spend another 30 bucks to buy another gallon of the color I wanted in the first place. I can't return the first one because I messed with it, soooooo my impulse will cost me twice as much, my plan is shot, and I have to make a new one. It is still snowing and now the traffic is crazy between here and the freaking paint store.
I think I will just take the back road and go to Home Depot instead.
The positive here? I now have a can of paint in a very customized color that I have no idea what I will do with.
This is what Dale gets for choosing an Aquarian woman to be his mate.
Friday, March 03, 2006
March-ing on.
Well, Feb. has passed...
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. My site stats show me that there are a lot of you that die- hardedly check to see if I have written. Thanks.
NASCAR season has started, spring is here...and only a few more weeks of Hep C treatment HELL left.
Dale's viral count is still zero and as of yesterday, his doc's say his last week of treatment will be the week of 3/24/06. The trip to Fontana was way too much for him and Satan has returned in Full Force Plus and is showing no signs of leaving. I am turning into Satan's bride Satania as a result. UGH. UGLY. Not me. I have just freaking had it.
His Doc told me yesterday privately to try to keep standing my ground, and be strong... "It's the med's, honey" she said. "Remember it's not him it's the meds."
I am trying.
I have never been in a truly abusive relationship. I have dated men who showed signs of being abusive, but they didn't get to stay around to long. I did not grow up in an abusive household. Our family had it's issues...yes. All families do. We would fight our issues out, once and for all. Loud? Yes. Ongoing? No. Fight it out. Get it over with. Get on with it.
Vulnerable issues were NEVER allowed to be weapons. We were taught to be repectful of deep feelings and tender hearts. We did not call each other names and "Shut up" was against the freaking law to say. We could yell and get as mad as we wanted. We had to fight fair. My Dad taught us how to deal with issues immediately (my mom was a stuffer... put your blinder's on and pretend it's not there, so peace reigns in the house kinda gal). My dad taught us to compremise or agree to disagree. If you agreed to disagree, that was the end of it. My dad taught us that resentment and anger would eat you up like poison. He taught us to interact and work things out because we were a family, and families loved each other. Love of each other was always to be the first and most important goal. He was a freaking Saint. A drunken saint....but a Saint. Saint Sidney. I wish he was hear now...
But he's not...he is with my Mom again. I can here her say: Just forget about it and stop yelling. I can hear him say: Work it out. Talk it out. Yell it out. Just be respectful or agree to disagree. You love each other and that is what matters... Just get it over with before you go to bed. Stay up all night if you have to. Don't ever go to bed upset.
We have been fighting since Tuesday. Normally I ignore him unless he becomes personally insulting, emotionally abusive or is riding my ass about anything and everything. Therefore I have been on point and defensive, shields and boundaries drawn and defended. I feel like I am at war. Protecting myself. I crossed my own personal line and have went into my own screaming rages this week. Not ok. The Dance of Anger took a bad turn. I feel like crap. He feels like crap.
I am emotionally and physically drained. I am way behind on everything, but...that is the way it is for now. If I keep my dishes done and my house picked up, right now that is good enough for me.
So much for my ranting...on to the day. This too shall pass...
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. My site stats show me that there are a lot of you that die- hardedly check to see if I have written. Thanks.
NASCAR season has started, spring is here...and only a few more weeks of Hep C treatment HELL left.
Dale's viral count is still zero and as of yesterday, his doc's say his last week of treatment will be the week of 3/24/06. The trip to Fontana was way too much for him and Satan has returned in Full Force Plus and is showing no signs of leaving. I am turning into Satan's bride Satania as a result. UGH. UGLY. Not me. I have just freaking had it.
His Doc told me yesterday privately to try to keep standing my ground, and be strong... "It's the med's, honey" she said. "Remember it's not him it's the meds."
I am trying.
I have never been in a truly abusive relationship. I have dated men who showed signs of being abusive, but they didn't get to stay around to long. I did not grow up in an abusive household. Our family had it's issues...yes. All families do. We would fight our issues out, once and for all. Loud? Yes. Ongoing? No. Fight it out. Get it over with. Get on with it.
Vulnerable issues were NEVER allowed to be weapons. We were taught to be repectful of deep feelings and tender hearts. We did not call each other names and "Shut up" was against the freaking law to say. We could yell and get as mad as we wanted. We had to fight fair. My Dad taught us how to deal with issues immediately (my mom was a stuffer... put your blinder's on and pretend it's not there, so peace reigns in the house kinda gal). My dad taught us to compremise or agree to disagree. If you agreed to disagree, that was the end of it. My dad taught us that resentment and anger would eat you up like poison. He taught us to interact and work things out because we were a family, and families loved each other. Love of each other was always to be the first and most important goal. He was a freaking Saint. A drunken saint....but a Saint. Saint Sidney. I wish he was hear now...
But he's not...he is with my Mom again. I can here her say: Just forget about it and stop yelling. I can hear him say: Work it out. Talk it out. Yell it out. Just be respectful or agree to disagree. You love each other and that is what matters... Just get it over with before you go to bed. Stay up all night if you have to. Don't ever go to bed upset.
We have been fighting since Tuesday. Normally I ignore him unless he becomes personally insulting, emotionally abusive or is riding my ass about anything and everything. Therefore I have been on point and defensive, shields and boundaries drawn and defended. I feel like I am at war. Protecting myself. I crossed my own personal line and have went into my own screaming rages this week. Not ok. The Dance of Anger took a bad turn. I feel like crap. He feels like crap.
I am emotionally and physically drained. I am way behind on everything, but...that is the way it is for now. If I keep my dishes done and my house picked up, right now that is good enough for me.
So much for my ranting...on to the day. This too shall pass...
Monday, February 13, 2006
What does `lorem ipsum dolor' mean?
Frequently Asked Questions About fontsand - What does `lorem ipsum dolor' mean?: "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetaur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum Et harumd und lookum like Greek to me, dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Nam liber te conscient to factor tum poen legum odioque civiuda. Et tam neque pecun modut est neque nonor et imper ned libidig met, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed ut labore et dolore magna aliquam makes one wonder who would ever read this stuff? Bis nostrud exercitation ullam mmodo consequet. Duis aute in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. At vver eos et accusam dignissum qui blandit est praesent luptatum delenit aigue excepteur sint occae. Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Nam libe soluta nobis eligent optio est congue nihil impedit doming id Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, set eiusmod tempor incidunt et labore et dolore magna aliquam. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exerc. Irure dolor in reprehend incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse molestaie cillum. Tia non ob ea soluad incommod quae egen ium improb fugiend. Officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Nam liber te conscient to factor tum poen legum odioque civiuda et tam. Neque pecun modut est neque nonor et imper ned libidig met, consecte"
The endo finale GRANDE AMEN.
The "Other things" Mystery...
Tee hee hee...I am getting back to my usual sunshinee Self now that the sun actually has been shining for more than a day and NASCAR season is once again upon us. Plus I have to say I am getting a pretty good kick today about the news that VP Cheney Head accidently shot his hunting buddy instead of the quail that should have been flying upwards. But alas, it was a Texas quail on a Republican farm. What can I say. Maybe the sport is different for Heads of State and their monkeys.. I can come up with all sorts of stuff to post on that one. **ROFLAO**...and I am off to do just that. But first, a word from the sponsor:
I have had so many comments and e-mails about my new template and the meanings of the words in the "Other things" in my sidebars.
I answer you all now...
It must remain a mystery for you to research...it may be an ancient magical ritual...or a story from a lost language. The answer is not difficult to find. Let it drive you crazy....burn your brain until you know the answer. It is good for our brains to be stretched.
Let me know what you find out.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Oops...
The previous post was supposed to be posted at The Church.
Dumb ol' me. I bow in humility.
This was supposed to be here:
You can't control other people. Not even a little; not a smidge. Every man and woman is their own sailing vessel powered by their own thoughts, emotions and imagination. You can't improve their smile, nor even add to their woes, unless, at some level, they let you.
So, does that pretty much clear up the affect others can have on you?
You rule -
Just don't let them know you're ticklish...
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
FOXSports.com - TonyStewart.com- Tony Stewart gets hearse back from SPEED Channel's Unique Whips
FOXSports.com - TonyStewart.com- Tony Stewart gets hearse back from SPEED Channel's Unique Whips
This is one of the reasons that I enjoy Tony Stewart so. He looks for fun in his life and he is not afraid to be weird. I look forward to the hurse being finished.
The Grateful Dead had a hearse in my old life. What a long strange trip it's been. Being a Deadhead and a NASCAR Fan really isn't that much different actually. They are each a Culture of their own, with many diverse people sharing the love of something in common...having fun, unique experiences with people all over the lad. Travelling far to see you favorites. Your hero's.
Jerry Garcia would have loved Tony's spirit of adventure. His dedication to his personal growth and spirit and loyalty to his group of family and freinds would have got him a pat on the back and a Right On!! as only Jerry could do. When he said it he meant it. Then they could have had a long converstion about Fractals and Chaos Theory and how it could be applied to Tony's life and performance. What a conversation the would be. Just imagine Tony crediting Quantum Physics for his improvement. That would be so awsome. **laughing as I write.** It would be too cool. Bad cool. Wicked cool!
Boogity! Boogity! Boogity!!
This is one of the reasons that I enjoy Tony Stewart so. He looks for fun in his life and he is not afraid to be weird. I look forward to the hurse being finished.
The Grateful Dead had a hearse in my old life. What a long strange trip it's been. Being a Deadhead and a NASCAR Fan really isn't that much different actually. They are each a Culture of their own, with many diverse people sharing the love of something in common...having fun, unique experiences with people all over the lad. Travelling far to see you favorites. Your hero's.
Jerry Garcia would have loved Tony's spirit of adventure. His dedication to his personal growth and spirit and loyalty to his group of family and freinds would have got him a pat on the back and a Right On!! as only Jerry could do. When he said it he meant it. Then they could have had a long converstion about Fractals and Chaos Theory and how it could be applied to Tony's life and performance. What a conversation the would be. Just imagine Tony crediting Quantum Physics for his improvement. That would be so awsome. **laughing as I write.** It would be too cool. Bad cool. Wicked cool!
Boogity! Boogity! Boogity!!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
February
I hate February. The memories of the last couple of weeks of my Mom's life flood in...I wish it were just good memories, but it's mostly horror. I cannot believe it has been nearly seven years. It is like yesterday. The same sickening feelings hit me every year, right after my birthday. I hate it. Of course, I remember the good times and the fact that my mother loved me very much. It's just that my body- brain memory automatically kicks into processing mode...Unconscious feelings that I buried at the time out of coping necessity, come rolling over me like huge ocean waves, that swirl over me, get caught in little inlets and swirl around for awhile before they go back out to sea. Then the next wave hits...on and on...every year there are new memories to process.
I worked in Crisis ( DV, Child Protection, Hospice) work for so long, that being able to turn off my emotions in times of urgency was an emotional tool. I am the Queen Mistress of Detachment. I am glad I had that tool at the time. It allowed me to cope with the issues at hand, automatically. I was in auto pilot. I pay the price for that auto pilot mode every Feb. with a severe bout of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
I was the strong one in the family. I was the counselor. I knew about the importance of the family processing feelings. I knew the death process. I knew what happened both physically, spiritually and emotionally to the patient and the families.
I was working as a Hospice Counselor at the time that my Mom was diagnosed with brain cancer ( Dec. 23,1998). I went on leave when she was diagnosed, because I knew it wouldn't be healthy for me, dealing with death every day. I needed to be there for my Mom and my family. I knew what brain cancer brings. I had seen it many times. We were determined as a family that my mother would not go to a nursing home to die. She didn't. She died at home on Feb.17, 1999.
I am writing a lot in my "secret journal" at Oprah.com right now. I can process and whine and cry and go into the horror in detail there if I need. I can scream and holler and write letters of anger to God/Goddess/All there is there with out feeling like I am pushing my stuff on anyone else. I also blab and on,in run on sentences. Jump from ship to ship. I'll spare everyone else that.
It gets a little better every year, as far as the day to day dealing with the loss and my grieving. I had five deaths in my immediate family in a 2 year period. In Oct.2000, when the last death, the death of my Dad (he was my step dad but my DAD) happened, there was a part of me that went away and never came back. Like standing in front of a big thick picture window and shattering it with a sledge hammer. That is how I felt and feel a lot still... The window can't be fixed. It can be replaced with a new piece of glass and a different view, but never fixed. I still find shards and slivers of glass sometimes...always lots of pieces in February.
Death sucks...grieving sucks...moving on sucks because you can't move on without processing the past. The whole thing SUCKS.
Bear with my posts if they get a little icky and I don't spell check or I disappear for a day or two, in the next few weeks. I am working on my own own stuff and dive into my hermit crab shell to do it. It's an Aquarian thing...I am ok, I will always be ok.
I am a tough little cookie...
The only good thing I ever look forward to in February, is NASCAR starts again. Thank Goodness for NASCAR. **LOL**
I worked in Crisis ( DV, Child Protection, Hospice) work for so long, that being able to turn off my emotions in times of urgency was an emotional tool. I am the Queen Mistress of Detachment. I am glad I had that tool at the time. It allowed me to cope with the issues at hand, automatically. I was in auto pilot. I pay the price for that auto pilot mode every Feb. with a severe bout of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
I was the strong one in the family. I was the counselor. I knew about the importance of the family processing feelings. I knew the death process. I knew what happened both physically, spiritually and emotionally to the patient and the families.
I was working as a Hospice Counselor at the time that my Mom was diagnosed with brain cancer ( Dec. 23,1998). I went on leave when she was diagnosed, because I knew it wouldn't be healthy for me, dealing with death every day. I needed to be there for my Mom and my family. I knew what brain cancer brings. I had seen it many times. We were determined as a family that my mother would not go to a nursing home to die. She didn't. She died at home on Feb.17, 1999.
I am writing a lot in my "secret journal" at Oprah.com right now. I can process and whine and cry and go into the horror in detail there if I need. I can scream and holler and write letters of anger to God/Goddess/All there is there with out feeling like I am pushing my stuff on anyone else. I also blab and on,in run on sentences. Jump from ship to ship. I'll spare everyone else that.
It gets a little better every year, as far as the day to day dealing with the loss and my grieving. I had five deaths in my immediate family in a 2 year period. In Oct.2000, when the last death, the death of my Dad (he was my step dad but my DAD) happened, there was a part of me that went away and never came back. Like standing in front of a big thick picture window and shattering it with a sledge hammer. That is how I felt and feel a lot still... The window can't be fixed. It can be replaced with a new piece of glass and a different view, but never fixed. I still find shards and slivers of glass sometimes...always lots of pieces in February.
Death sucks...grieving sucks...moving on sucks because you can't move on without processing the past. The whole thing SUCKS.
Bear with my posts if they get a little icky and I don't spell check or I disappear for a day or two, in the next few weeks. I am working on my own own stuff and dive into my hermit crab shell to do it. It's an Aquarian thing...I am ok, I will always be ok.
I am a tough little cookie...
The only good thing I ever look forward to in February, is NASCAR starts again. Thank Goodness for NASCAR. **LOL**
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Thank you ALL!!
Thank all of you for the lovely comments and cards. It means a lot to me. We have such a great little circle. I wouldn't give it up for the world!
Bright Blessings to all of you!! ...and now I shall sleep.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Getting older...
Yay!! I found a template I can live with for awhile. The exact color green is the same color I just did my kitchen in. Green and white. Clean, calm, yet energizing. I need to clean it up a little and move a few things around, but this will work for now. I am putting together a couple of ideas for my perfect custom template for Denise to do for me eventually. This works for now.
New beginnings for my new year. I always make a list of new things I want to do for the year. I have to do the same amount of things I have never done as I am old...so 48 new things this year. Every year more and more. I have 24 hours left to do the list.
I got a surprise phone call from one of my favorite old classmates this morning. I have know him since we were in the 4th grade. He had been trying to track me down for six months. It made me feel good. He caught me up on my small hometown in Eastern Oregon gossip, and let me know about my high school class reunion planned for July. I really look forward to that. I can't believe it has been 30 years. I went to our 10 year reunio
n. We didn't have a 20 because we all forgot. Is that funny or what? There will be some changes in all of our looks this time. **lol**
Jeeeesh!!
I am kind of nervous about it...certain parts of me have certainly transformed.
New beginnings for my new year. I always make a list of new things I want to do for the year. I have to do the same amount of things I have never done as I am old...so 48 new things this year. Every year more and more. I have 24 hours left to do the list.
I got a surprise phone call from one of my favorite old classmates this morning. I have know him since we were in the 4th grade. He had been trying to track me down for six months. It made me feel good. He caught me up on my small hometown in Eastern Oregon gossip, and let me know about my high school class reunion planned for July. I really look forward to that. I can't believe it has been 30 years. I went to our 10 year reunio
n. We didn't have a 20 because we all forgot. Is that funny or what? There will be some changes in all of our looks this time. **lol**Jeeeesh!!
I am kind of nervous about it...certain parts of me have certainly transformed.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Cat's
I haven't felt like blogging much. I am changing my house around as much as my blog. And no...I am not done with it. This blue is not soothing to me...it's agitating. I am a purple girl...I like the water picture but that's it. So yes... it will be going bye-bye.. I need to talk to Denise I guess and see if she can do what I want.
I found these posts about cats in a NASCAR forum. Stole them to share with you. 1. After dark, all cats are jaguars...
2. Never *ever* try to baptize a cat.
3. Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get a cat to pull a sled.
4. A cat knows your every thought. It doesn't care. But it knows .
5. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I will put shoes on my cat ...
6. Most people with cats, know they are being controlled.That's the horror of it ...
7. Never try to out stubborn a cat .
8. Thousands of years ago ,humans worshiped the cat . They have not forgotten this . .
9. Whenever I bathe my cat, it takes an hour to get the fur off of my tongue.
10. I prefer to live with Feline Sapiens, thank you very much.
11. Picture of a fat tabby on a couch , looking at his owner, "My species domesticated your species... "
Cat Wake-up Method
6:00 am. Cat is snoring at end of bed.
6:15 am. I make a bathroom trip.
Cat is still snoring.
6:45 am. I fall back to sleep. Cat is waking up.
6:48 am. Cat is on my pillow, staring at me.
6:49 am. Cat stare has drilled a hole in my head. I wake up, but feign unconsciousness.
6:50 am. Cat is onto me. He knows a faker. Cat meows VERY softly. I ignore cat.
6:51 am. Cat meows more loudly. I ignore cat.
6:52 am. Cat places nose in my ear and meows loudly. Eardrum ruptures. I tell cat to go wake up husband.
6:53 am. Cat approaches unsuspecting husband. Cat stares at husband intently. Husband has no cat radar, therefore continues to sleep.
6:54 am. Cat sits on husband's chest. Husband continues sleeping.
6:55 am. Cat leans forward and meows softly. Husband sleeps on.
6:56 am. Cat meows more loudly. He is ignored.
6:57 am. Cat stands on husbands face. Husband, fearing suffocation, wakes up.
6:58 am. Husband stupidly asks, "What do you want, cat?" Cat proceeds to yank mini blinds off wall and point outside.
7:00 am. Husband lets cat out
***
Our old cat wakes us up all night long lately. He keeps walking on our heads and biting at our hair. Cute the first time, not so cute at 2 AM, the 10th time. We shut the door last night and he was not a happy camper for awhile. Meowed and howled for a few minutes. Tried to open the door with his paw. Stuck his whole leg under the door and did the sound he used when he is looking for us (you know the little chortle sound a mother cat uses when she calls her kittens?) and finally gave up until 5 AM.
I felt bad but JEESH, we both have enough sleep issues as it is with out Mouser.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Who makes up this stuff?
I want to know who makes up this stuff...and even more...do they get paid for it?
From Bizarre News.com:
January is: National Careers in Cosmetology Month, National Eye Health Care Month, National Fiber Focus Month, National Hobby Month, National Soup Month, Hot Tea Month, Oatmeal Month, Prune Breakfast Month
January 1 is . . . . .First Foot Day and Z Day
January 2 is . . . . .Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody Salutes It Day
January 3 is . . . . .Festival of Sleep Day
January 4 is . . . . .Trivia Day and Humiliation Day
January 5 is . . . . .Bird Day
January 6 is . . . . .Bean Day
January 7 is . . . . .Old Rock Day
January 8 is . . . . .National JoyGerm Day and Man Watcher's Day
January 9 is . . . . . Play God Day
January 10 is . . . . Peculiar People Day
January 11 is . . . . National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day
January 12 is . . . . Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day
January 13 is . . . . Make Your Dream Come True Day and Blame Someone Else Day
January 14 is . . . .
National
Dress Up Your Pet Day
Poor dog...
Weimeriener's are such a dignified and cool breed too.
January 15 is . . . . Hat Day
January 16 is . . . . Hot and Spicy Food International Day and National Nothing Day
January 17 is . . . . Blessing of the Animals at the Cathedral Day
January 18 is . . . . Winnie the Pooh Day
January 19 is . . . . National Popcorn Day
January 20 is . . . . National Buttercrunch Day
January 21 is . . . . National Hugging Day
January 22 is . . . . National Answer Your Cat's Question Day and National Blonde Brownie Day
January 23 is . . . . National Handwriting Day, National Pie Day, and Measure Your Feet Day
January 24 is . . . . Eskimo Pie Patent Day
January 25 is . . . . Opposite Day
January 26 is . . . . Australia Day
January 27 is . . . . Punch the Clock Day and Thomas Crapper Day
January 28 is . . . . National Kazoo Day, Clash Day, Rattle Snake Round-Up Day
January 29 is . . . . National Cornchip Day
January 30 is . . . . Escape Day
January 31 is . . . . National Popcorn Day and Child Labor Day
National measure your feet day is a day I will honor the rest of my life.
From Bizarre News.com:
January is: National Careers in Cosmetology Month, National Eye Health Care Month, National Fiber Focus Month, National Hobby Month, National Soup Month, Hot Tea Month, Oatmeal Month, Prune Breakfast Month
January 1 is . . . . .First Foot Day and Z Day
January 2 is . . . . .Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody Salutes It Day
January 3 is . . . . .Festival of Sleep Day
January 4 is . . . . .Trivia Day and Humiliation Day
January 5 is . . . . .Bird Day
January 6 is . . . . .Bean Day
January 7 is . . . . .Old Rock Day
January 8 is . . . . .National JoyGerm Day and Man Watcher's Day
January 9 is . . . . . Play God Day
January 10 is . . . . Peculiar People Day
January 11 is . . . . National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day
January 12 is . . . . Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day
January 13 is . . . . Make Your Dream Come True Day and Blame Someone Else Day
January 14 is . . . .
National
Dress Up Your Pet Day Poor dog...
Weimeriener's are such a dignified and cool breed too.
January 15 is . . . . Hat Day
January 16 is . . . . Hot and Spicy Food International Day and National Nothing Day
January 17 is . . . . Blessing of the Animals at the Cathedral Day
January 18 is . . . . Winnie the Pooh Day
January 19 is . . . . National Popcorn Day
January 20 is . . . . National Buttercrunch Day
January 21 is . . . . National Hugging Day
January 22 is . . . . National Answer Your Cat's Question Day and National Blonde Brownie Day
January 23 is . . . . National Handwriting Day, National Pie Day, and Measure Your Feet Day
January 24 is . . . . Eskimo Pie Patent Day
January 25 is . . . . Opposite Day
January 26 is . . . . Australia Day
January 27 is . . . . Punch the Clock Day and Thomas Crapper Day
January 28 is . . . . National Kazoo Day, Clash Day, Rattle Snake Round-Up Day
January 29 is . . . . National Cornchip Day
January 30 is . . . . Escape Day
January 31 is . . . . National Popcorn Day and Child Labor Day
National measure your feet day is a day I will honor the rest of my life.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Signs along the side of The Road
I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I know why and sometimes I don't. I do believe we are given
a map for our journey before we start on the road tho. I think syncronicities are the road signs that tell us we on on the ri
ght path. They can also be the road signs that tell us when to turn at crossroads. Red flags tell us to stop and go a different way or turn around. I feel red flags. I don't always listen to them, I admit. I will tell you that everytime I ignore one, I am guaranteed to discover what is was about. Always...**{This picture is
taken at Succor Creek State Park, OR. One of my "special" places I go to get my head together. It is a one hour drive from my home. It is like a mini Grand Canyon, 6 miles long.}My Jan. 15th post about Syncronicity is a prime example of a road sign in my life...
I went to the site that was linked to Melody Beatty. It is primarily about the dangers of the drug that Dale is on. There are a lot of sites out there about Hep C and most of them are ran either by the Drug companies that manfacture the Interferon itself, or scammer's trying to tout a "cure all" to get rich on people's misery. The site does sell an herbal program for the disease. A very expensive program. There was a lot of dated info on Peg-Intron and Ribaviron on there. I kept reading tho...looking for what I thought was the reason that I was led to it. I trust Melody Beatty. That was the only reason I kept reading. There was nothing in there that I didn't already know about the drugs, herbs or the disease that was new to me. UNTIL...I went into one of the links to a trial study report to the FDA. There was a person that had been in the trial that had a reaction to the drug that caused fluid retention around the lungs and heart. It also caused extreme distention of the abdomen that constricted the lungs. It could also cause congestive heart failure.
Last week Dale had been really "bloated". He was also short of breath (that can also because because of the drop in Red and white blood cells). We were waiting for the results of his last blood tests.Sunday night the distention and bloating were terrible. Yesterday he got up and even his face, eyes and ears were swollen. His abdomen looked like he was nine months pregnant. He looked almost deformed. He had a terrible headache, and was very short of breath. I call the Hep doc's office and her nurse said "Well I don't know...maybe you should see his regular Dr. Those aren't
side effects of the treatment." BOOM! RED FLAG! BINGO!!!!Now I knew why I had been led to that site. It most certainly was a side effect. A remote chance but someone had DIED from this side effect in the trials.His primary Dr. said he has fluid built up in his abdomen that was putting pressure on his heart and lungs and that was why he was so swollen and short of breath. His heart had not been affected. He has put him on Lasix to remove the fluid. The blood tests we have been waiting for came back BEAUTIFUL. There is no sign of HCV this go round. He has went from a viral count of 350 MILLION to ZERO...to do that in twelve weeks is nothing short of miraculous. All his other counts were low but not in the perilous level. The plan is to continue the treament for the the remaining 12 weeks at this point so the chances of remission are reduced.
My belief that we are led daily when we listen, is reconfirmed. There is nothing missing, nothing broken, nothing that is imperfect in Heaven...
Choosing to make each moment of life as meaningful as possible can help us feel more satisfied and content. When we look for meaningful experiences, we commit to making the most of our time on Earth. In our search for meaning, we naturally tend to shy away from shallow people and situations and embrace fulfilling and nurturing ones. Looking for meaningful experiences can help us spend our time more wisely to pursue our passions and interact with people we care for and who care for us. Creating a meaningful life means always being on the lookout for those circumstances that will feed our soul. When we choose to seek meaningful experiences in our life today, we may discover that living is more satisfying than ever.
One fulfilling experience can eclipse many empty moments strung together. It is not the quantity of time that matters, but the quality that we experience during each moment. Every minute is an opportunity to loveourselves and others, develop confidence and self-respect, and exhibit courage. Ultimately, quality can make life sweeter. When we focus on quality, all our life experiences can be meaningful.
Often, in the pursuit of quantity we cheat ourselves of quality. Then again, quantity also plays a significant role in our lives. Certain elements, such as hugs, kisses, abundance, and love, are best had in copious amounts that are high in quality. But faced with the choice between a single, heartfelt grin and a lifetime of empty smiles, most would, no doubt, choose the former. Ultimately, it is not how much you live or have or do, but whatwe make of each moment that counts...
Sometimes, we may find ourselves wishing we knew what our lives are going to look like or what gifts and challenges are going to be presented to us in the coming months or years. We may want to know if the relationship we're in now will go the distance or if our goals will be realized. Perhaps we feel like we need help making a decision and we want to know which choice will work out best. We may consult psychics, tarot cards, our dreams, Holy Writings and
many other sources in the hopes of finding out what the future holds. Usually, at most, we may catch glimpses. All of these can be helpful tools as long as we are looking at the whole picture and not just projecting what we wish we want. A Higher Order and Power exist, no matter what you call it. It just is.There is a Higher Truth out there with a Plan for us. Even even though we think we would like to know the whole story in all its details, the truth is that we would probably be overwhelmed and exhausted if we knew everything that is going to happen to us. That same Higher Order also protects us from ourselves.Just think of your life as you've lived it up to this point. If you are like most people, you have probably done more and faced more than you could have ever imagined. If someone had told you as a child of all the jobs and relationships you would experience, along with each one's inherent ups and downs, you would have become overwhelmed. With your head full of information about the future, you would have had a very hard time experiencing your life in the present moment, which is where everything actually happens.
In many ways, not knowing what the future has in store brings out in us the qualities we need to grow. For example, it would have been difficult to commit yourself to certain people or projects if you knew they wouldn't ultimately work out. Yet, it was through your commitment to see them through that you experienced the lessons you needed to grow.
Looking back on your life, you would likely be hard pressed to say that anything in your past should not have happened. In fact, your most challenging experiences with their inevitable lessons may have ultimately brought you the greatest rewards. Not knowing the future keeps us just where we need to be-fully committed and in the present moment.
Everything really does happen for a reason. When we are at a Crossroad and have to make a choice, we need to look at the Road Signs of Syncronicity. All of them. Sometimes the signs are confusing. Sometimes we have to look at the signs that have been there along the way for years. Put the links together. 
Sometimes there was a sign that was pointing to the place you are at today, years ago. One that you had never figured out. It all comes together, eventually. We are all called to, and for, a purpose, to something in our lives.Remember synchronicity. If you have an event happen that you do not understand, take the time to ask why and then TRUST the Universe that you are always where you need to be. Right then and Right Now. Trust that you will have the answers you need. Examine all your options from that point. Make your decisions from a point of surety. Always ask "What am I supposed to learn from this?". Sometimes you will be the vehicle for someone else's lesson. When that happens, accept it, but remember there is also a lesson in it for you. If you are truly dedicated to your path, you will always, again, be, WHERE YOU NEED TO BE, FOR A REASON. Be grateful for all experiences that cross your path. Be truly grateful everything that has and will happen in your life. The good, the bad and the ugly.
Pay attention to the Signs on the Road.
Now, as Always, I am off...
On a Quest...
TALLY HO!! JAMBO!!
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