Monday, May 15, 2006
Nasty ol' Moon...
The moon must have a Scorpio twist today. My emails are all about sex. I am hoping that zillions of people will see this so my "secks" (don't want my blog to come up on any searches from the pervs...) life... um...well you know, will perk up and show some life again.
This one is from my daughter. I still prefer to think of my children as having no idea what secks* is about. However, considering I have 6 grandchildren and another little boy on the way (set to appear in August), I suppose my denial should be broken by now.
1. Secks is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
4. Secks is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
5. Secks is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more secks you have, the more you will be offered. The secksually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle secks perfumes drive the opposite secks crazy!
7 . Secks is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Secks actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Secks is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
This message has been sent to you for good luck in secks.
The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now secks has been sent to you. The "Hot Secks Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.
If you don't, then you will never receive good secks again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need secks (who doesn't?).
Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.
Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in .5 hours.Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days.(ok...I am waiting!)
Then came this one from my best freind since we were 19 or 20. By the way she has started a new blog called Dream Gems. She has the wierdest dreams...I have been saving them forever. She is also very intuitive. When she says she has a "feeling" about me or has a dream about me. I pay atttention quick. She is very gifted and hilarious too.. She and Jackie Sue would be a hoot and a half together...
Snow in Jamaica...
A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, "What is your name?"
"I can't tell you" the black man says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same way, he can't tell her.
On her last night there she asked again, "Can you please tell me your name?"
" I can't tell you my name because you will laugh at me.", said the Black man.
"There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the lady said.
"Fine, my name is Snow!" the black man replied.
Immediately the lady burst into laughter!
The black man got mad and said, "I knew you would make fun of my name!"
The lady replied, "I'm not making fun of your name. I'm thinking of my husband who won't believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of Snow everyday in Jamaica!" (author unknown)