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The endo finale GRANDE AMEN.

The "Other things" Mystery...

Tee hee hee...I am getting back to my usual sunshinee Self now that the sun actually has been shining for more than a day and NASCAR season is once again upon us. Plus I have to say I am getting a pretty good kick today about the news that VP Cheney Head accidently shot his hunting buddy instead of the quail that should have been flying upwards. But alas, it was a Texas quail on a Republican farm. What can I say. Maybe the sport is different for Heads of State and their monkeys.. I can come up with all sorts of stuff to post on that one. **ROFLAO**...and I am off to do just that. But first, a word from the sponsor:
I have had so many comments and e-mails about my new template and the meanings of the words in the "Other things" in my sidebars.
I answer you all now...
It must remain a mystery for you to research...it may be an ancient magical ritual...or a story from a lost language. The answer is not difficult to find. Let it drive you crazy....burn your brain until you know the answer. It is good for our brains to be stretched.
Let me know what you find out.

Oops...

The previous post was supposed to be posted at The Church.
Dumb ol' me. I bow in humility.


This was supposed to be here:

You can't control other people. Not even a little; not a smidge. Every man and woman is their own sailing vessel powered by their own thoughts, emotions and imagination. You can't improve their smile, nor even add to their woes, unless, at some level, they let you.
So, does that pretty much clear up the affect others can have on you?
You rule -
Just don't let them know you're ticklish...

FOXSports.com - TonyStewart.com- Tony Stewart gets hearse back from SPEED Channel's Unique Whips

FOXSports.com - TonyStewart.com- Tony Stewart gets hearse back from SPEED Channel's Unique Whips

This is one of the reasons that I enjoy Tony Stewart so. He looks for fun in his life and he is not afraid to be weird. I look forward to the hurse being finished.
The Grateful Dead had a hearse in my old life. What a long strange trip it's been. Being a Deadhead and a NASCAR Fan really isn't that much different actually. They are each a Culture of their own, with many diverse people sharing the love of something in common...having fun, unique experiences with people all over the lad. Travelling far to see you favorites. Your hero's.
Jerry Garcia would have loved Tony's spirit of adventure. His dedication to his personal growth and spirit and loyalty to his group of family and freinds would have got him a pat on the back and a Right On!! as only Jerry could do. When he said it he meant it. Then they could have had a long converstion about Fractals and Chaos Theory and how it could be applied to Tony's life and performance. What a conversation the would be. Just imagine Tony crediting Quantum Physics for his improvement. That would be so awsome. **laughing as I write.** It would be too cool. Bad cool. Wicked cool!
Boogity! Boogity! Boogity!!

February

I hate February. The memories of the last couple of weeks of my Mom's life flood in...I wish it were just good memories, but it's mostly horror. I cannot believe it has been nearly seven years. It is like yesterday. The same sickening feelings hit me every year, right after my birthday. I hate it. Of course, I remember the good times and the fact that my mother loved me very much. It's just that my body- brain memory automatically kicks into processing mode...Unconscious feelings that I buried at the time out of coping necessity, come rolling over me like huge ocean waves, that swirl over me, get caught in little inlets and swirl around for awhile before they go back out to sea. Then the next wave hits...on and on...every year there are new memories to process.

I worked in Crisis ( DV, Child Protection, Hospice) work for so long, that being able to turn off my emotions in times of urgency was an emotional tool. I am the Queen Mistress of Detachment. I am glad I had that tool at the time. It allowed me to cope with the issues at hand, automatically. I was in auto pilot. I pay the price for that auto pilot mode every Feb. with a severe bout of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

I was the strong one in the family. I was the counselor. I knew about the importance of the family processing feelings. I knew the death process. I knew what happened both physically, spiritually and emotionally to the patient and the families.
I was working as a Hospice Counselor at the time that my Mom was diagnosed with brain cancer ( Dec. 23,1998). I went on leave when she was diagnosed, because I knew it wouldn't be healthy for me, dealing with death every day. I needed to be there for my Mom and my family. I knew what brain cancer brings. I had seen it many times. We were determined as a family that my mother would not go to a nursing home to die. She didn't. She died at home on Feb.17, 1999.

I am writing a lot in my "secret journal" at Oprah.com right now. I can process and whine and cry and go into the horror in detail there if I need. I can scream and holler and write letters of anger to God/Goddess/All there is there with out feeling like I am pushing my stuff on anyone else. I also blab and on,in run on sentences. Jump from ship to ship. I'll spare everyone else that.

It gets a little better every year, as far as the day to day dealing with the loss and my grieving. I had five deaths in my immediate family in a 2 year period. In Oct.2000, when the last death, the death of my Dad (he was my step dad but my DAD) happened, there was a part of me that went away and never came back. Like standing in front of a big thick picture window and shattering it with a sledge hammer. That is how I felt and feel a lot still... The window can't be fixed. It can be replaced with a new piece of glass and a different view, but never fixed. I still find shards and slivers of glass sometimes...always lots of pieces in February.
Death sucks...grieving sucks...moving on sucks because you can't move on without processing the past. The whole thing SUCKS.

Bear with my posts if they get a little icky and I don't spell check or I disappear for a day or two, in the next few weeks. I am working on my own own stuff and dive into my hermit crab shell to do it. It's an Aquarian thing...I am ok, I will always be ok.
I am a tough little cookie...

The only good thing I ever look forward to in February, is NASCAR starts again. Thank Goodness for NASCAR. **LOL**

Redneck Jam

I love redneck stuff...
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